Brandon, 28 Musician from Soho - Washington Square
____So when my Uncle Eddie was fifteen years old he moved from Astoria to an Italian neighborhood in the Upper West Side. Every night after dinner he’d come outside and there’d be a whole gang of Italian kids hanging out on the stoop. Their leader was this kid named Maxie Taco, his cheeks were pure baby fat, but to hear him talk you would have sworn that he was the Godfather himself. Every night he used to say to Eddie, “Eh Greek! Whaddya have for dinner?” Then he’d punch him in the stomach till Eddie’d throw up on the sidewalk. More

Romero, 55 Musician from Puerto Rico - Coney Island
So I was at the corner of Delancey Street, and I seen my friend Moishe, a Jewish guy, good friend of mine. This black guy ran up and he smacked Moishe in the face. I come over and asked him what happened.

"Romero, I donna know vhatta havened. Za guy come over to me he ask me for Delancey Street, I tell em he waza blahk bastid." More

Lucy, 25 Student from Chinatown - University Place
____It’s been forty years since my mother came to New York, but living down in Chinatown she never really got much of a feel for the culture. When my brother turned thirty and was still single, she started to get really worried. Every night it was, “Why you not find nice girl? You go to China you find nice girl you come back live here.” Eventually my brother couldn’t take it anymore, so he decided to move in with his buddy in Brooklyn. At first she was so angry that she wouldn’t talk to him, but later that week they agreed to get together to go shopping. More

Danny, 29 Messenger from the Lower East Side - Tompkins Square
You know my mother came one time and tell me, Danny, lately since I come from Puerto Rico they be robbing in my house. Don't worry Mami, I'm gonna fix the problem. What you want me to do? I want you to buy me a police dog. A police dog? Give me five hundred dollars, I promise I'll get you a police dog. Now I'm walking with five hundred dollars, and I love to play a lot of video games, so I stop in the pizzeria and I spend the whole five hundred dollars playing games. Then I came to think about oh my god, what I gonna tell my mother now? More

Leroy, 24 Artist from Jersey City - Washington Square
___ When my uncle Jimmy had just moved here back in the eighties, he went to see the Dead Boys at Max's Kansas City. Earlier that day he had been to court, so he was still wearing the suit and tie, which made him look a bit odd for being at a punk show. Sure enough, before the concert the lead singer's girlfriend got up on stage and started ranting at my uncle for being a yuppie. When he started cursing back at her, Stiv Bators, the lead singer, ran out to tackle him, but my uncle laid him out cold with one punch. More

Nettie, 80 Dancer from Greenwich Village - Washington Square
____So a few years ago my dance group at the senior center was doing a Hawaiian routine for a recital in the park. Before the show I think they got the grass skirts mixed up, because I had to use a safety pin to get the thing to stay put. Halfway through the routine the string broke, and I was standing there on the front of the whole park in my Bermuda shorts.

Kidd Boombox , 23 Music Promoter from Da Bronx - Union Square
____There's this kid Perdo from the Bronx, he's real slow in the head, never been to school or nothing like that. His father owns this tomato stand right there off the Bruckner. Papi was getting old and he had a heart condition, so he wanted his son to take over the business. Pedro’s like, "Duh I don't know what to do." Mo”re

Robert, 59 Stock Broker from the Upper West Side - Washington Square
____So my friend Julian has these two cute little poodles, Wilma and Fritz - delightful little buttercup demons. One day we were going to visit my friend Mickey at her fourteenth floor coop. She didn’t want to let us inside, because she had this testy old fat black cat Piere. Julian stood there in the doorway explaining his dogs were perfect fluffy little angels, and that they live with a cat, and she had nothing to worry about. This went on for five minutes or so until finally Mickey opened up the door. More

Frenchy, 26 Messenger from Chelsea - Washington Square
____I live in the projects in Chelsea on Twenty-sixth Street. Everybody know that that a drug invested neighborhood and all. One day me and a couple friends was just chilling outside the building, and this van pulled up and like nine cops popped out. Didn’t say nothing, just asked me for ID and then slapped on the cuffs. I’m like what's going on here fellas? but the whole time we was riding in the van I might as well of been talking to myself. More

Ibuck, 33 Real Estate Broker from Israel - Washington Square
____I was showing this apartment to this cute little French girl. She really liked the place, but when we came back to the office she refused to give me photo ID for the application. She looked pretty worked up about it, so I figured it was an immigration issue or something. The next day she brought a long letter and wanted me to read it before looking at her passport. The office was swamped, so I just said OK and went ahead and photocopied her passport. When the copy came out, I looked down at the photo, and it's this guy with a really thick beard. More

Mike, 49 Drug Counselor from Jersey - Washington Square
I was coming out of the train on Eighth Avenue, and I seen this guy bump into this old lady and start cussing her out, serious cussing - calling her all kinds of bitches. I'm saying wow, he shouldn't a cussed this lady out that bad. So we're walking down the avenue and he's moving real fast. By the time we got to Thirty-ninth Street he got to the corner and he slipped and fell. Oh shit! So I hear somebody run up behind me, and the old lady runs right past. She gets to the corner and looks down on him. More

Aida, 28 Law Student from Spain - Avenue A
____ When my boyfriend’s German grandparents came to visit New York, they brought along his sixteen year-old cousin Gretchen. I felt kind of bad for her, because even though the grandparents were total sweethearts, she still had to spend two weeks traveling to lame ass places like San Antonio Texas with seventy year olds. After we had dinner at the Rainbow room, being a good hearted soul, I convinced the grandparents to let us take her out for a night on the town. More

Radio Rob, 47 Former Construction Worker from Brooklyn-Tompkins Square
____ I saw two guys getting married when I was living in the shelter. They cleared all the beds out of the place and this tall guy who called himself a preacher did the whole damn ceremony. These dudes went all out for the shit. One dude had on a gown. The other dude had a tuxedo. They said, I do, I do, and they exchanged rings. They had a wedding cake and everything.OMore
Tedevan, 26 Six Foot Seven Jewish Faith Healer from Manhattan- Union Square
____So I'm out in Union Square in my pajamas meditating on the grass. There was a sign that said I wasn’t supposed to be there, but it was a beautiful spring day, the park was bumping, and since there's not a lot of grass in the city, I take it where I can - nobody's gonna stop me from loving my grass. Nobody.
____Almost immediately the park ranger guy came over, acting pretty mellow, and told me to get off the lawn. More
Danica, 18 Student from Belgrade - Union Square
____So I’m riding the subway through midtown and this guy squeezes through the door at the last second and gets this enormous bag caught. Papers and clothes are sticking out, and judging by the size of the thing, it was probably everything he owned. When he finally tugs his way through, he grabs a seat right in the middle of the car. Almost instantly all the people sitting on the bench stand up and walk to the other side. You see, the only thing he’s got on is this bright red bath towel. More

Juan Taylor , 59 Recycling Technician from Brooklyn - Avenue B
____When I used to return my cans at the Associated Supermarket, sometimes the manager would give me a few bucks to help sort out the big bags in the basement. One night I was down there sorting the cans and I fell asleep. I heard them pulling the gate down, and I ran up there but it was too late. I tried to open the door, but it was locked from the inside too. At first I was mad, cause I don’t like to be locked up inside no place, but then I started looking at all the different kinds of food. More

Hank, 73 Retired Subway Conductor from The Bronx - Washington Square
____So what happened was, one day there was a radio reporter who was on the air broadcasting from the steps of the Forty-second street library. A little old bum taps him on the shoulder and says, "Hey mister let me tell a knock knock joke."
____He says, "No go away bum."
____"Mister, let me tell a knock knock joke."
____"Go away bum." More